Going to bed early tonight. Yay for Rachel, who brought us Cafe Flora food!
The "heart scarf" started by Astrid wound through one skein today and I started the second. It looks rather untidy, but I love that you can read the story it tells. My sister, who arrived this evening after driving from S. Dakota, is going to knit on it tomorrow. My friend Joyce is trying to teach me double Solitaire to distract me. I suck.

Mark was steady today. They did not start liquid food, they did not put in a new arterial. He continued to put out good volume. He has a fever, hovering around 100-101, but no one seems concerned, so I'm not either. Everyone seemed happy he was stable. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow at 8:00 now, Dr. Barnhart decided to do it himself instead of his partner, and canceled his other surgery.
( Some hard stuff here )

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Please keep us in mind tomorrow. I need for us to be OK.

I saw Mark at 12:00 last night, and he was doing great.  I played some of his iPod music for him. Woke back up and have just come back. He continues to do well. His heart is good, they moved him last night and he woke up a bit. They have resedated to keep him quiet.  Moving is necessary to change sheets and massage his legs to work against bedsores. His blood pressure dropped when they moved him, so they had to up his BP meds again. *sigh* I gave him a stern talking to about that this morning. I mean, I'm glad he's doing all the peeing I want, but he has to control his own bp, so his task for the day is to learn to manage his BP. 

Particularly as they want to start introducing liquids into his stomach and one of the two bp meds he's on reduces blood flow to the intestines, which is not optimal for that scenario. So he has to learn to manage his own bp. A lot, I know.

His arterial port collapsed, and his poor arm is all bruised. Sean did not put a new one in, which he said they cant do without dr orders. They are reading BP from the cuff, but i's good, 107/73. He says they will need a new arterial but the surgical team will likley order it when they look at him today.

All in all, steady through the night. More pissing which is great and just what we need, a little uneveness on the blood pressure, which I want him to stop, But really all stable.


OK, so I dont dislike sean so much today.

The big event of the day has been posted by others.  It makes me anxious to know he doesn't have the assist, yet I know it is necessary for him to recover. Mark is doing well, his heart is doing well, and everything is progressing very well (simultaneous knocking on wood everywhere I can reach here). 

He is heavily sedated tonight until at least 10 to keep him quiet and rested. Sean the nurse I'm not keen on is with him. He exclaimed over the amount of urine Mark output today, considering what the did last night, and I thought a slightly cross "Duh" at him.  My last evening visit, he was changing the tubes, while being overseen by another nurse and the nursing super.  Who in a quiet scolding tone was reading the lowering stats as sean fumbled getting the tubes into place, hissing, "I know, I know."  I ignored them and went on with my nightly ritual, talking to Mark, telling him I love him and need back, and giving him his job for the night. (pissing like a racehorse). We'll see. I think Mark feels like I do about Sean so if there's the same level of urine, I'll be happy and surprised. Delighted.

They were still fussing with tubes when I left, reciting "it's 62. 61 now." "i'm working on it."  when I left. It made me anxious, but I figured with two other skilled people in the room, they weren't going to let anything bad happen, and I do understand that need for sean to learn how to do it. Even if (gritting her teeth) it is on my best beloved dearest husband. They won't let anything bad happen.

So, here I am. Finishing typeing. Taking my sleeping pills and hoping to NOT wake up at 3:00Am and run through the halls like a crazy person tonight.

Thank you, Astrid, for bringing simple knitting, that now has a wave pattern. out where Astrid knit it. In where a tense me knit a few rows. Out were relaxed Astrid knit, bound in like a corset where a tense me knit, and starting to breath again at the end of the evening. Knitting that tells a story.

Good night, and thank you all so much.  Some day I will make an effort to answer email.  Just not now.

Mark is steady, He has not lost as much fluid as hoped, only ten pounds, which i find extremely disappointing. Also, his nurse, Sean, who is a young guy, had the tv on this morning watching the news. There's nothing wrong with that, really. Mark is a news hound himself. But somehow, it irritated me disproportionately. 

ten pounds is nowhere near the output needed to close up his chest. That's my next "oh please, oh please, just let this one thing happen" moment.

And maybe some doctor will come by today since it's a monday.

Last night I was crazy a little. They called a code on our floor, same room, different wing, as my brothers. I completely freaked out and ran to his room and woke Paul up to see if he was OK. My hysteria woke up Austin, who thought something was wrong with mark. He freaked out, threw his clothes on and ran out the door starting to run out to the elevator. Eventually, we all calmed down.  I went up to see Mark just to settle my heart. He was fine. Then back to bed.

I really wish they could knock me out too, and keep me in cold storage until he's better.

Mark continues to make incremental progress. While I am still extremely anxious, and will be as long as his chest is open, his heart remains stable and blood pressure is stable. They need to remove about 35lbs of fluid from his body (through urination) before they can close his chest.  His nurse, when I was there earlier this evening, said he was doing as expected. When I went up just now, Sean-the-nurse said he's doing better than expected, and I could see the results in his hands. His wristband is a little loose for the first time. This was pretty exciting.

Austin went home and got his iPod player, and while we couldn't find Mark's iPod, we got mine. Fortunately, some of our musical tastes overlap, and it is playing our joint collection of classical and classical guitar music. We both love to write to classical guitar. I think that may help.

It is difficult for me to leave the hospital for more than a walk around the block.  I feel tethered.  The invisible cord wraps along the corridors from his room to me, and I can only get so far away before I feel an overwhelming rush of anxiety, and have to get back.  The same with time. I can only bear to be gone for about two hours, and then I feel too anxious.  I have to go back in and see him and hold his hand.

One hour away is too frustrating because nothing good has happened within an hour, but if I give it two, maybe I can see progress.

The on call doc gave me a prescription for ambien. Hopefully that will let me sleep tonight, and tomorrow, it's more of the same, except I hope, hope, hope, we can see the chest get closed.

Mark is looking better this morning. His fever is down. Martha, his nurse, washed him last night and that really helped him feel better. I say this just knowing my husband. He would hate being in this condition, and messy as well.  Love you Martha!

His heart is better, more regular, and a better rate this morning. High 90s instead of 100s. His blood pressure is also improved, and they have been able to lower his blood pressure medication a tiny bit. He'a still on a ton of medications, but being able to have, and keep, the blood pressure meds a tiny bit lower is a baby step in the right direction.

They have switched around his pain medication and his sedation some. He was getting too light, and they can'thave him fidgeting or coughing, or really doing anything at all while his chest is still open. I asked Martha if she thought there was a chance they'd close it today, and sh was not hopeful. Too much fluid, and he's still critical.

So more waiting, tears, and prayers. And that's the first of the morning news.

J, post as you deem appropriate.

Just came back from ICU. I can't describe the relief I felt at still seeing mark's name still on the board. So afraid he was gone and they didn't want to wake me.

He is still there, lub-dubbing away. They are taking him back into surgery this morning to clean out the chest cavity. A lot of blood and fluid has accumulated around the heart, making it work harder. The inset drains aren't clearing it fast enough.  the surgery will clean it out. I am terrified, but it is necessary. I could see the dressing over his gaping chest wound was bulging.

He only had one more fibrillation during the night, which is good. His blood pressure is all over the map, which is bad. Reliving the pressure around the heart should help them control it.

They lightened the anestheisia, and he moved all extremities, which is good. There may now be long therm mental consequences, but maybe not. No one knows for sure. Right now, I don't care.  I just want my husband alive.

It is very serious. They are measuring off hours. Every hour Mark survives is good. Insert a bunch of technical stuff here. They are keeping him unconscious and open, but he is now in ICU. I saw him at around 1:30 and talked to Dr. again at 2:00.

No phone call is excellent. It means uneventful hours went by.

I am going to try to get another hour or two of horizontal time. I can't call it sleep.

J, please dimsseminate.  This is all I am up for.

Mark is not dead, although it isn't for lack of trying.

They are finally moving him down to ICU, probably about 1:30. This info comes from Bob who will be his nurse.  The electrical "circuitry" of mark's heart became interrupted when they cut through the aorta to get to the aortic valve. Not uncommon. They had a difficult time finding the right spots on Mark's heart to put the spots for the pacing electrodes that would work.  (this is after fixing the previous problem with the undiscovered left artery problem that required a bypass surgery in addition to the valve surgery).

Mark also developed some spots that didn't want to stop bleeding, and that took some time to fix.  His heart is very tired now and wants a vacation in Tahitii. So to let it rest, they are inserting an additional pump through the femoral artery to take the work off his heart until it is ready to go back to work.  I can't be bothered right now to tell you the name.

He has a full sternotamy in addition to the side opening.  What fun.

He will not be sewn up,  but instead is going to his room open an with the esophageal tube still in, just in case.  But his is going to his room, which is HUGE. They will keep him sedated until they can stitch him up and take the tube up.  He will be in hospital for about two weeks.

I will see him tonight, don't know about visitors other than me tomorrow. Nurse Bob said he will be unrcognizable, both from tubes and from the 20 lbs or so he has put on in surgery from the fluids they've been pushing into his system.

All I want is to have him keep breathing.  I have lost too many people.

We are just about packed. Thanks to scarlettina 's awesome valvoline book, I did not forget my own epilepsy meds, which i came perilously close to forgetting to pack. iPods are charged and packed. Cell phone is charging. Laptop will get packed tomorrow. I'll pick out books tonight. Knitting has been started, something simple.

Mark has had his first medicinal shower. No more eating or drinking after midnight. I feel like we're forgetting something, and maybe we are. If so, we can get it somewhere, somehow.

Contact will be sketchy.  No cell phone/wifi activity in ICU, and I anticipate spending my time there.  I'll run out to let people know how Mark's doing.

And there it is.  I anticipate surgery will be over around 2:00 ish.

See you all on the other side (except for those of you I'll be seeing tomorrow in the hospital).

The outline is staring at me reproachfully from the printer. Last night, I got it in order, printed it out, all set to go through it. Today it is gathering dust while I ignore it.

My hope is that I can read the outline (thank you, Scrivener, for your nifty outlining tool and keeping me honest), see if it 1) makes sense; 2) is hella boring; 3) where do the A plot and B plot need to be entwined; and 4) what vital bits do I need to add in that I've missed, then 5) what should I think about cutting out entirely. Which will leave me with 6) hooking the front end of the damn book together with the rest of the back end which is already (mostly) written in beta draft form.

At that point, I think I'll have about 180,000 words. By the time I get through 1-4, I hope to get up to 200,000. Then I can start cutting it back down.

The way I figure it, most of the words are utter crap. I have to describe every little tiny detail of everything to see it. Then, taking pity on the reader, I go back and take out what no one but me needs to know. To borrow from a conversation I had with scarlettina , if there's a drawer of silverware in the room, I have to describe the drawer, and describe the silver in it so that I know if it's Georgian silverware or Edwardian silverware.  Even if the silverware never hits the table.  Then I go back and cut it out.  But I can't write the rest of the scene up front until lI know what that darn silverware is, because it makes a difference to who the characters are and what they might do.

I wish I could forget the silverware. I'd write faster, smoother, fewer words for sure. I can't stand not knowing about the forks though.  And if they own a salad server.

So I'm almost at beta draft.

We are actually getting down to the wire now.  I swear we are getting things done, slowly. Ice cream-eating does take up more time than you might think! And, hey, don't knock it 'til you've tried it!

Visited with ironymaiden and melkahb tonight to go over details like walking the dog, where food and towels are kept, and how to manage the 14 remotes that run the TV/DVD/Blu-Ray Mars lander controller in Temple of Dude downstairs.  We also went to Bohemian and ate and drank much nom.

The Valvoline book, beautifully prepared by scarlettina got much filling out today. Names and phone numbers and emails, oh my.

Prescriptions were found and instruction sheets set out. With the help of some final experience, commentary and chit-chat, we have decided on a bio valve. it will likely be this. I know, I know. Is it a valve, or is it a sex toy.

We have some confusion as to time. We've now been told to show up at the hospital at 5:30 am, and to be there at 9:00 am.  I am certain someone will clear this up tomorrow, or we will call. My personal vote is for 9:00 am. Someone needs to give a final answer. If you are planning on being there with me/us. I will let you know when we know for sure.

And thats it for now. Tomorrow is packing and cleaning and maybe doing something fun and making sure we are all together. More or less.

We are blessed with the best friends anyone could have. You are amazing and we love you all.

I intended to wait until tomorrow to do a final archeology post, but got too excited.

Who doesn't know Coleridge's "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree; Where Alph the sacred river ran through caverns measureless to man down to a sunless sea"? Marco Polo trod the streets of Xanadu, or Shangdu rather, and the Chinese have now mapped it out. They hope for Yuan Shangdu, Kublai Khan's summer home, to be declared a World Heritage site. It seems inevitable to me. Very wonderful indeed. It was an extraordinary city, this summer home of the Mongol Emperors, and I am very excited about this news.

Amazing the stuff archeologists used to just throw away. This cache of oddments found buried outside the  Cairo museum.

We do love our dogs. Roman pottery, coins, medieval remains uncovered as part of Oxford's long, historic past. Its the dog bones that warrant a photograph.

Once, slavery was part of ALL of this country, not just the south. Dig at 18th century Rhode Island slave traders house. What would Roger Williams have thought?

DNA analysis of Copernicus' remains. I'm impressed.

We killed the neanderthals. . .with our diseases. This makes sense to me. We certainly can see other historical instances of similar events.

British Library puts world's oldest bible online: Codex Sinaiticus. The British Library's online publishing program is extremely impressive.

Construction uncovers 1,500 year old tomb in China. Worth playing the video to see the frescoes.

I'd posted about the Ilisu dam in Turkey previously. It looks like this project is indeed halted. Germany, the World Bank, the Austrians and the Swiss pulled out. Social and cultural violations are the reason.

Update on Mt. Zion dig, this is from the team's website and is not yet published officially, so it's an extra cool peek at their work, and you can read the excitement in their notes about the finds. Murex shells used to dye priestly garments, mikvot, Herodian lamps, etc. They are digging through several different eras, and seeing time overlap like this gives you an idea of what time travel would be like. Really great read. Worth the time, and the accompanying photos are good.

2,000 year old statue shed light on metal corrosion, storing nucelar waste, and other amazing things. You can download the PDF from this abstract if you are so inclined. The sculpture itself has a fascinating history.

We have so many things to do before Friday. Clean the house. I need to do laundry. Books! There are books I'm sure I should buy. Food I should get. Fill out the fantastic Valvoline book scarlettina made for me. Must get that done. Figure out who to email with updates.

Really, I just want to eat ice cream.

Our penguin is placed, which is great. Ed Astra's current home is at Greenwood Space Travel Supply, which is a great place for him. We are happy. I hope he gets to stay there. Again, thanks to the marvelous scarlettina for that bit of info.

Now I suppose I should some of those things I haven't been doing.

Moon was very good. It was a pleasure to see a real science fiction movie that still was about the human condition.  I really don't want to say much here, as almost no one has seen this yet, and it deserves to be seen. If you enjoy sci fi hie thee to a theater and support it.

The interesting things I can say about it, without giving anything away, is that certain movies/tropes have trained our expectations to lie in a certain direction, and it's refreshing to have them snapped. That was nice. It was very much about character and how people change over time, and I liked that a lot. It managed to be dramatic without any explosions, and we had wondered how the mystery would be sustained, and yet, it was.

I liked it a lot, and more so as I think about it. So please go see it so we can talk about it.

Had a lovely time with ironymaiden and scarlettina at Maximilient's, which I hadn't been to before and must go back to. Lovely. I particularly enjoyed that Ironymaiden and I decided to just order -all- the happy hour appetizers and test them out. It was fun.

The Elliott Bay Water Taxi, which was running Friday hours, was a great way to get back and forth between downtown and West Seattle.

Tonight we downloaded the first of the Torchwood 5-parter Children of Earth. Wow. I didn't know RTD had it in him.  It was really fine.  Give him enough time, and he doesn't go off and drink beer at the pub before he completes the script.  I am eager for tomorrow night to see what happens next.  I highly recommend it, either by download or on BBC America on July 20. And I never thought I'd be recommending Torchwood.

The rest of the world did not take the weekend off, so today we can enjoy the fruits of their labors.

Have any old stone tablets up in your Attica? OK, I do apologize for the pun, but it was irresistible. However, if you do, hand 'em over to CSI: Ancient Greece, and they can tell you what engraver, from where and when carved them. Nice to know that no longer to you need to anything about the classics, be able to read Greek, or even be interested in the periods. Just have a super cool computer program.

What I love about this is that it sounds like it should be a Torchwood episode. Why else would the military guard this stuff? Don't give me that nonsense about high explosive range. It MUST have a deeper meaning. Just read the opening sentence and you'll see what I mean. Great photo, btw.

The Persian Gulf is really old. So why would some Arab states want to change the name? Note the redware from India. Did you know Ashoka the Great sent the first Buddhist missionaries to the west hundreds of years before Christianity?

Ancient Etruscan tomb uncovered. I hope the police can keep the tomb raiders out of it.

Oh to be in Rome! (But not in August.) These rare, never-open-to-the-public archeological wonders will be open. Livia's house. The house of Gryphons. Augustus' house. Fantastic opportunity! If you can, go see them!  I include this link which is one of the few that has good photos in one place (you'll have to hunt a bit, but it's worth it, good site in general).

Boudica's headquarters found? Underneath a Roman fort that had no reason to be where it was? Many interesting questions. Also some nice Henry VIII stuff on the side.

Fortified garrison town in the NE Delta. Nice photos, good find. Go Zahi.

Love knows no era. Children dead of (accidental) arsenic poisoning appear to have benn mummified by grieving parents. Sad, fascinating, and a reminder that we are all human.

Herod's quarry discovered in Jerusalem. Yes, that quarry. The one where the stones from the Second Temple came from. Wow. Here's another link. If anyone wants hi-rez photos, I can get them, but they are zipped so I'm not linking here. This is pretty exciting stuff. They found things in the quarry referenced in the Talmud. Again, wow.

Oh, and if you want the link, ask me, but just so you know, DNA results show that modern day Tuscans are not related to ancient Etruscans.

We had a lovely evening with Greg and Astrid and Eric and Alexandra.  A few neighbors were still shooting off fireworks over the lake so we had occasional sparkles in the sky. Kai stayed home. Greg was disappointed. He was hoping for a frolic with the dog. As always, dinner was superb. We chatted for a long time about movies and sci fi stuff. Some about the upcoming surgery. On the ride home (equipped with many cds from Greg of his books for Mark to listen to, and a brand, spanking new autographed copy of City at the End of Time, which made me happy. I also picked up some of Astrid's yarn. I particularly liked this one, and will do something with it while I'm hanging out in the hospital. Looks like I got the last skein! On the way we agreed that it was indeed likely that Greg does Know Everything.

Someday, I hope to have a rolling library system like Greg's. I love that library! If you haven't seen it, the shelves look sort of like this, but in white. I have spent happy times in those stacks while Mark has ferried beverages to me.

Today is a blustery day. Good for long dog walks and doing Something Else. Like go see Moon.  We have an appointment with the cardiac surgeon to talk about some concerns tomorrow, so today is an official Don't Worry day.

After breakfast at Endolyne Joe's, we walked Kai, investigated progress on our new park (almost done) and retreated to the cool basement to watch Paris, Je t'aime. We didn't know it at first, but our DVD is the French language version, so it took us a bit to figure out what was going on and we ended up watching it with English language subtitles for the hard of hearing (our only option). I became quite fond of the three note symbol to tell us music was happening, in case we couldn't hear it.
The twenty shorts are uneven althought all fall within some definition of good. Some are superb. None are bad. Each one is dedicated to a different Quartier of Paris. They are sad, thoughtful, dellightful, happy, hopeful, just about every flavor you could wish for. The best thing for me was seeing a few wonderful actors I'd never seen before, among them Sedou Boro, from Nigeria.
I'm reluctant to state my favorites here as they are really directed by personal taste in some instances and not by specific directorial talent. For instance, I loved the story about the blind student and the American actress. However, I'm not certain it would be to everyone's taste.
This is well worth a watch if you haven't seen it.  And easy to stop after one short, get something to eat, then start it up again (or take a bathroom break).

We also did much, much research today. We learned things that were good, and scary, and encouraging, and things to ask questions about. The term "pump head" is not comforting. We hope to avoid cardiac depression if possible. Minimally invasive surgery reduces the death rate by 45%,which is fantastic (although do we have to talk about a death rate at all, really?). Robot arms are cool, and I'd love it if they were used. We don't know if they are. Heart lung machines are scary. Watched a lot of surgery video. Whew.

Can we just hear it for the Balkans? They are having a busy summer! And don't miss the Jerusalem Archeological Park at the bottom, it's great!

Some good finds in Macedonia from the Ottoman period (Please don't argue with me whether it's Greek or Balkan, it's too deep for me.)

Bulgarian spelunkers discover fantastic hidden Thracian sanctuary. So amazing, they won't say where it is for fear of robbers. I really look forward to when this is photographed and explored. It sounds very impressive. And the attached photo is amazing all by itself. What a beautiful place!

7,000 year old settlement uncovered in Bulgaria.  Remember, even though the photos always show places that are dry and dusty, people settled there because they were green and and fertile.  It didn't look like this when it was a thriving town.

The Dutch are checking out a neolithic Balkan grave site. And that's it for Balkan news of the the BCE's for today. You go, Bulgaria!

More on that great Roman cave in Israel. Excellent photos.

Nice article on the lost Via Aurelia of Augustus. Some good (fascinating to me) historical bits.

I grew up in Taunton, MA, so Taunton, England's  "Hanging Judge Jeffrey's privy" is weirdly fascinating to me.

How I've missed this beautiful website, I don't know. But don't you miss it! The Jerusalem Archeological Park. Be sure, absolutely sure to check out the exceptional 3-D models of the second temple. They are fantastic! The Hulda Gate! The stoa! Wonderful!

Did you like the Temple? Check out Qumran! I feel a dizzy spell coming on from all the gorgeousness!

And, because I'm a geek, I'm eager to check out "Greek Street" from DC Vertigo. Lovin' it. Because we do just tell the same stories over and over.

We saw things before we read stories. We looked at pictures before we talked. As a species we were visual (Lion! Run!) before we were verbal. Our ideas are formed by images we encounter along our life path. Maybe the particular shade of blue in our bedroom. Maybe the illustrations in a childrens' book we loved. Maybe the first time we saw a poster or picture of that amazing Dali painting.

Here are ten of my foundational images that are at the core of who I am as an artist, a writer, and a person moving through a visual world. If you can't do ten, I encourage you to try five.
( Have a look )